Each of Us -- Providing career advice and career development information for working women interested in advancing in the workplace

Buy the book | Contact us

how to write a resume, career information, resume writing, job interview techniques, career planning, change career, effective leadership skills, interviewing questions, career counseling information, career advice and counseling, advancing women in the workplace

resume career job interview techniques planning change leadership skills interviewing counseling advice women workplace

Types of Fears|
By Linda R. Dominguez

Executive Coaching and Resource Network
http://www.executive-coaching.com

"There are countless types of fears, and many of them show up at work. While we don't often see people running and hiding under their desks, we do see fear showing up in the form of arrogance, bullying, hostility and other unhealthy behaviors. The four deep fears that keep us from being our happiest and best were described by Larry Wilson and Hersch Wilson, (authors of "Play to Win!"), as the "Four Fatal Fears" -- Here are some examples of those fears:

1. Fear of Failure
Jillian has the innate ability to influence people with her charm and optimism - she is trusting, sociable, enthusiastic and knowledgeable - yet her overwhelming inner belief was that she would not succeed, and her fear intensified in her workplace where bosses and managers used threats, intimidation, ridicule and humiliation as management tools. Therefore it was safer for Jill to only put herself in situations where she could be assured of the outcome. This kept her from making cold calls, setting appointments, taking risks or trying anything new. Her belief system, mixed with her unhealthy work environment, made failure terribly frightening.

2. Fear of Being Wrong Translation: "If I am right, I am good. If I am wrong, I am bad."
Kevin came into coaching because his long-term employer had issued him a written warning for being an arrogant bully, "demonstrating disrespect for staff and service suppliers." When we initially spoke, Kevin said he was angry (a very safe emotion for a man in this culture), and as we worked together longer, he realized he was afraid of being wrong -- and to prove to himself and others that he was "good", he made certain that he was "right" at every opportunity -- shutting everyone else, and their ideas, out.

3. Fear of Rejection This fear - of not being accepted - is mostly about projection. We project, or make up, what we think will happen, and we allow this to become real in our minds.
Take John, for instance - he was laid off from a wonderful dream-job about 6 months ago. His belief system held that he didn't really deserve to have such a great job, so he created a mind-set that supported this belief: Even if another such job existed, he wouldn't get it because he didn't deserve it, so making any attempts to job-hunt were an invitation for rejection. How many calls do you think this man made to potential employers? Correct, zero. While his very real fear about having no job was right in front of him, the potential fear of rejection represented an even greater horror - so rather than risking rejection, he stayed with the discomfort he found more comfortable: unemployment.

4. Fear of Being Emotionally Uncomfortable Ah, the potpourri of anxieties: We don't want to demonstrate any weakness or vulnerability, we don't want to experience embarrassment or humiliation, we certainly don't want to ask for help - or (forbid!) indicate that we don't have all of the answers. This assortment of anxieties can be aggravated by our performance evaluation systems where admitting we have something to learn is tantamount to asking for a pay cut: We are expected to be experts in everything in order to receive that raise. When we are expected to be experts, we may try to act as if we are experts, and this pretense is a breeding ground for fear of being exposed as a fraud with the potential for experiencing humiliation and embarrassment. We are presented with opportunities and choices every single day; some are pleasant, some can be scary.

For this week, get in touch with your anxieties, and make your choice: experiencing fear or experiencing growth. That's really the choice you get to make. Choosing growth over fear is mature, empowering and the doorway to success and fulfillment."