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Start from a Position of Agreement

We often think of negotiating as two or more sides against one another, one trying to win over the other. In fact, in almost any negotiation, there are points of agreement. A negotiating strategy which you might be overlooking is that of starting with points of mutual agreement.

Let's say you are requesting a personal assistant. You want this person because he/she will free you to be more productive and thus contribute more to the success (bottom line) of your department. You have listed all the contributions you will make as a result of this person's presence, and quantified as many as possible in terms of actual dollars gained. (Note that this is different than listing all the tasks you currently do single-handedly, to prove you are over-worked.)

Begin negotiations by finding common ground. "I was hired (or placed here) because of my skills in customer relations. I have the diplomacy to help irate customers calm down, as evidenced by the incident last month involving Ed Stevens at Hildebrandt. In addition, I have the product knowledge to help clients recognize the need to upgrade, as evidenced by the Sharp Tool account. Do we agree that I can maximize my contributions to profitability by contributing these skills and knowledge?"

Be sure to choose something on which you are confident you will receive agreement. This is a good starting point for many reasons. It reminds everyone that they are here for a conversation, not a battle. It helps set the stage for your strategy of making one point at a time. The chances of gaining acceptance of your proposal, or some variation of it, are increased with the acceptance of each point. As you plan your negotiating strategies, don't just plan your best arguments. Use those points on which you will receive no argument to begin. Awareness is the first step. Small adjustments make a big difference.

Patricia Smith is author of Each of Us: How Every Woman Can Earn More Money in Corporate America.