T.I.P.S. - To Improve Pay and Success
Understanding One-Upmanship
While some men do not suffer from this affliction, far too many men simply cannot see any two people as equals. One must be superior and the other inferior. Every relationship, personal or business, is a battle to obtain or maintain the primary spot. "I'm smarter, more successful, richer, more knowledgeable, or more spiritual than you are. I will do my best to prove this to you so we can both agree that I am one-up. " Even men and women who are not conscious of this one-upmanship can get caught up in it if we're not careful. We find ourselves defensive, or our feelings are hurt. We don't understand why our peers need to ridicule or belittle us. We don't understand the false bravado. There is no one easy way to deal with men like this, except to recognize it for what it is. It's a one-upmanship affliction. Try not to let these people get to you, they have more problems than you do. Playing into the game will not make you one-up. Such people are determined to be one-up, no matter the response of others around them. Comments such as "Jack, this is not a contest," can help demonstrate your position. Awareness is the first step. Small adjustments make a big difference.
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Generally speaking, women see adults as peers, and prefer to treat
one another as such. While we may be intimidated by another's position
of authority, we generally see others at our general authority
level as equal. We are often baffled by the behavior of men toward
us and toward one another.